ladies help me out please
My fiancée and I always had an amazing relationship, but right after our daughter arrived everything changed.....
The first two weeks he was home with me and was perfect... helped me endlessly, waiting on me as I healed, he was so loving and so attentive, I never felt happier...
The past 3 weeks have been absolutely hell....
He's never home and takes every opportunity he can to be away from the house.. we have been fighting like never before these are serious fights were we both say horrible things.. every fight ends with me having a panic attack from crying so hard.
I'm absolutely depressed and at a loss with our relationship.. I feel like my entire life is crashing down around me. I'm a SAHM and he works full time so I never get a break bc when he is home he's suddenly "so tired" and on the weekends he plays video games and can't even keep the baby quiet so I can get a little sleep. He barely spends time with her, he will hold her or kiss her for a second then put her down and walk away.
Unfortunately the worst part is, that our daughter has been effected by this... I want to kill myself for even saying this but I resent her at times because of how things changed since she arrived. Isn't that fucking horrible???? I'm disgusted to even think it let alone admit it but it's true. Don't get me wrong she's more than well taken care of, happy healthy growing stronger everyday, but I feel like both my fiancée and I are so frustrated with each other that we just aren't as happy and loving to her as we know we could be. It's fucking the lowest I've ever felt in my life....
can't I be happy and appreciative? Why can't I look at my beautiful healthy baby girl of 6 weeks and not smile?
Why can't I feel blessed and grateful that she's perfect head to toe and completely healthy?
Why can't I look forward to anything?
Why can't I enjoy each little moment we have together?
Why can't I stop feeling exhausted and miserable?
I honestly feel like we're going to call off the engagement and I'm going to move out, go back home with my parents and try to focus on myself and my baby 100%, and just try and see if we can give each other time apart to figure out what is really wrong.
What the fuck should I do????
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