So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks now, I love him, but I don't know if he loves me, he says he does, but how can I be sure he does, and there's a big age difference he's 16 and I'm 18, I've given him blowjobs twice already, which is farther than I have ever gone with any of my other boyfriends the farthest I've gone with my other boyfriends I've had is hold hands lame I know, when I was 4 my own father raped me until I was 11 I went into child services at 11 and he also raped my little sister my parents didn't give two shits about my sister and I. I was the one raising my little sister from basically the day she came home from the hospital my mom ran off to England to be with my step dad almost 9 years now she left when I was 10 on June 4 2017 it will be 9 years, since my father raped me it's hard for me to have sex with anyone including my boyfriend, I just want to have sex with him, I feel ready, but I'm afraid that if I do memory flash backs will come into my mind what should I do