Happily Bitter?

Ughhh...I dont know what's up with me!! Me and my husband work at the same company different departments (for now I won't be staying he will) they LOVE him he gets compliments on his work every day since he started. Everyone always comes and tells me how great he is. I'm proud of him. Truly. But I find myself lost in thought about every wrong he's ever done me. Cheating, leaving, be littleing, taking advantage, talking down, talking at, not talking to me at all...I can't say if that side of him still exsist. I can only wait to see if it rears it's ugly head again. But these mixed feelings are killing me...how am I happily bitter?