For the past 3 years I've really been struggling... we have battled infertility and we started doing foster care as a next effort of adopting... my husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship and we've been in a horrible custody battle. We've seen his kids 17 days in the past 3 years because his ex with holds them from us and the court just gives us "makeup" timeshare and she just withholds again and again. It's so frustrating to be in a battle of infertility all while my husband can't even see the two he does have- and his is so horrible! Their children are scared to speak to my husband when she's around, and after our last visitation their mom hit the daughter with one of the bags carelessly because their son was calling me mom (he just turned two and he calls her boyfriend dad-- he uses the term loosely. I mean common he was calling my mom, mom) and then foster care we got a 3 year old his dad was in jail for DV against his mom, his mom went to jail for DV, theft, and fraud the kids didn't know when their next meal was!! She got out of jail and the judge gave him back!!!! She had been gone in jail for 2 years on and off and 1 year consistently!!! And she got him back in 3 months of being out! After 1 visit with her he went back to his old behaviors- we had him potty trained - out the window. His tantrums came back, his behavior was out of control he was scarfing food! You could tell I'm his eyes the I need to fend for myself mentality was coming back! All these woman who have children who don't deserve them, and I can't even get pregnant ONCE?!?

I can't take this anymore. This feeling. The one thing I want most-- I CANT HAVE. I can't get pregnant, I can't afford IVF. We can no longer do Foster care or Adopt because my husband owes arrears because his ex just put him through the state (which he should have done in the beginning) but said what he paid was a gift, so we have to pay the lst 2 years ALL OVER AGAIN, but because he owes we are not allowed to adopt through foster care( we can't afford traditional adoption)

When I talk to my husband I don't feel like he understands or COULD understand. He has two kids, he was able to father 2 kids and still can, he has biological blood. I haven't had the luxury- I can't have my own child. He can't understand that he can't understand how that feels!!

I hate my body more and more everyday. I hate myself because I'm obviously not worth having a child. I'm not worth being a mom or a parent (as I'm always reminded by my husbands Ex). My body can't do what it's suppose to, so wtf am I worth- the answer is nothing. Their is no point of my existence, I'm contributing nothing I have nothing to offer and the one thing that should come naturally, I can't do..

Have you experienced a legitimate implantation dip (a dip 6-12 DPO and ended up pregnant)?