asking a mans intentions?

Question

Do you feel it's appropriate to ask someone's intentions ? I am at a point in my life where I don't just want some casual fuck buddy and would like to date and get to know people and see if I can find a genuine connection . I went on a few dates with a guy and our chemistry in unreal and I asked him like what he's looking for is he looking to just date around and have fun or is he looking to find someone he could possibly have a genuine connection with and he told me he didn't like me asking that and it was too much too soon . My intentions weren't to ask him to be in a relationship I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page with what we wanted and are looking for . Is that wrong ?  Should I have just let it go and see what happens ?

Answer

It doesn't sound unreasonable to ask when you're a grown adult woman speaking to a grown adult man. I think he answered your question anyway. If he was serious, he would've just answered your question, "yes I'm interested in getting to know you".  He sounds a bit childish. Best you know that very early on. Good riddance.

Answer

If he said it's much too soon then he likely just wants to play the field til he decides to settle down or he's met someone he likes enough to be serious about.

I think in dating you decide what YOU want. Then you state that to a fellow date and if you both agree you're on the same page proceed lol if not then on to the next one...

You can waste a lot of time with the wrong person but if you're at a stage where you know what you want aim for that and don't settle for anything else. There's lots of good men out here ... there just hidden amongst the rubbish one you've got to weed them out lol

❤️

Answer

No, you have every right in the world to ask that question! Why waste your time with somebody who just is looking for a hook up or whatever? I think his answer really told a lot about what he's looking for. Because a man who's actually looking for a woman to have a relationship with is very clear about that. Trust me, men know what they want just as much as women do. His answer told me what his priorities are in the order that he said them. Connection was last. Do with that information what you will. It might be too early to ask if he wants a relationship with you, but it is not too early to ask what he's looking for.

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I put it all out there before even dated. I wasn't wasting my time and if you aren't looking for something real then let's just be friends. He was cool about it. We've been married 6 yrs

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Your beautiful and if a man isnt instantly ready to be yours I don't think he's the one for you.

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I've always been the one who wonders what we are doing and am super afraid to ask. One time my friend told me he was enjoying the single life when it seemed like we were more an that's made me afraid to ask. Well The current guy I was wondering but never really asked and on my B-Day we took a selfie and I asked if I could post it on facebook and he didn't care had me tag him in it. He said his grandma would probably as who I was and so I asked what he would tell her and he said he'd say that's my chick. So It's probably always good to ask even if it's early cuz sometimes you hear what you don't wanna hear and sometimes you hear what you want to hear but at least then you'd know.

Answer

I'm all for being upfront. If it reflects who you are and your communication style, ask him straight up. 
My husband jokes with me and says I basically proposed to him because I asked him if he was "in it for the long haul" before we were "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend.  I had dated a few guys, been engaged, experienced heartbreak and I was ready to get married. I didn't want to waste my time or his time. He didn't run when I asked him that so I knew he was the guy for me. Truthfully, I knew the moment I met him. We had many more straightforward conversations after that and, I feel, it has set the tone for our relationship. We say things as they are and don't butter up or beat around the bush. We have very honest and open communication because of this, which means no mind games and no confusion.
If you want to know, ask! Nothing wrong with that. If he thinks it's wrong, move on until you find someone who appreciates your honesty.

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That's so much for a first date maybe, ask on the second or third or fourth. I just let things flow

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On my first date with my now husband i told him i wanted marriage and kids and if he was looking for just a casual fling that he should find someone else. I had got to the age when i was bored with games. I think honesty is best.

Answer

Honestly, guys are stupid lol but seriously, I think it's fine to ask a guy what his intentions are. You don't want to waster your time on someone who isn't in your level. If I were you, I would pull back from him. You obviously see a possible future with him but it sounds like a relationship isn't on his radar. Better to distance yourself and find someone else who does know what their intentions are.

asking a mans intentions?

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