Please help! How should we split the holidays?!?

Question

My fiancé and I have been today 3 years now , but we still argue over how to split the holidays between our families. Before I go into details, I want to say I love both of our families VERY much. Our parents live across from each other, yes I ve gotten the "boy next door". Some of you will think " well what s the problem? just keep going back a forth through the day" but, it s not as simple as that. We have tried, and it hasn t succeeded. We ve have gotten through the past holidays ,but not without a huge fight of where we will go . This year is different, BOTH of our grandmothers had past away this past year within the same two week time period and over the same exact cancer. That being said, these will be very hard holidays to get through with both families becauses of the deaths. We are both saying " well my family should be priority because of my grandmother s passing, I think it better we if we re to be there "  So, I want to know your suggestions. Anything to help is greatly appreciated . I m really tired of the fighting over this subject and would like to come up with a permenant holiday solution , so it never has to be fought over again. P.S We would really like to be together for the holidays.

Answer

If you have the room why don't you have both families come to where you and your fiancé live (assuming you live together)

Answer

My husband and I have the same problem. He has at least 6 dinners the dinners to attend because his parents and both sets of grandparents are divorced. I only have one dinner for my family. What we have done in the past, and will probably do again this year is I will go to mine, and he will worry about what he wants to do for his. We explain to our families that each of us wants to spend the holiday with our family.  This agreement will change when we have children, but for now it works great for us.

Answer

We split it one year we go my family's for dinner and go round in the evening to his and the next year we have dinner at his and go see mine in the evening. Because of the circumstances why don't you stay at home and they can come to you if they want. You don't have to host dinner if you haven't got the space. Just have a small dinner and they can come round after

Answer

Either host it in your own place or have the morning celebrating together then you go to yours, he goes to his and come back together at yours in the evening

Answer

Host in your home

Answer

We do Xmas Eve with his family, Xmas morning each with our own family, & Xmas afternoon/dinner with my family. (No kids born yet.)

For Thanksgiving, we've done a few things, but often we do the actual Thanksgiving day with one family & a late Thanksgiving on Fri or Sat with the other family.

Answer

if it's too much to have both families together under one roof, i suggest stopping at his family function first and then going to yours - or vice versa.

my husband and i have always split holidays that way.. we will usually go to my family stuff first since my side side tends to do things early in the day and his side does everything later..  so it works for us.

Answer

Have both families together in one house so that way no arguments etc about whose family to spend it with. Everyone is together in one roof.