This post isn't necessarily meant to be answered. Just want to get it all off my chest. 

I work in a school where there are currently 5 ladies on maternity, one just returned and 3 guys who's wife/gfs had babies within weeks of each other. And here I am about to start 3 cycles of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> (if they can retrieve enough good quality sperm)  before that 1 go at <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. 

Every where I look there are babies. All everyone wants to talk about is babies. 

Hubby and I went out for a romantic dinner and the table behind us announces their bfp (WHO DOES THAT?!) unplanned I might add. 

And I feel so guilty. I try to hide it from hubby because I don't want him to feel bad but I'm hurting. It's a physical pain that is with me every where I go. 

I will never join my colleagues on their maternity lunches. (If we conceive) our baby won't have play dates with this boom. And I know the circumstances are not typical just just my shit luck. I'd just like a break. For once I'd like to be dealt a hand I can work with instead of having to grapple together to make do. I'm not usually one for a pitty party but that's exactly where I am right now. Raving on my own trying to to bring anyone else down. They deserve to be happy but so do I. Don't I?!