I feel like the worlds most selfish mother right now, and I knew this was going to be very difficult for me from the get to because let me be honest. I hated my nipples stimulated before I had my LO. I was told many times that it's different when you are breastfeeding and even then I was so nervous to even try in the hospital. I originally just wanted to pump and bottle feed, but I learned that is kinda unrealistic and expect to lose my supply within a couple of months even with a medical grade pump. So I decided to try and get my LO to the breast, and not doing so to begin with was my first mistake. Because getting LO to the breast after formula feeding and bottle feeding was a challenge in and of itself. A different story completely, but to keep things short I moved to a nipple shield and after many visits to many LCs she is on the breast. Though I am not confident her latch is very good... tomorrow I will ask to do test weighing to see how much she is actually getting to ease my mind. Because I have a hard time believing this little girl can suck on my breast for less than 3 minutes and get enough milk. I say this because literally I will put her to the breast and 2-3 minutes later her loud swallows goes to nothing and she is just laying there doing those shallow flutter type sucks. Which I know is great to encourage supply, but I hate it. I hate the feeling, and it really irritates me. Which in turn makes me feel like a monster. Now I do try to pump after I feed her, and this last time I had her to my left breast for 4 minutes (put up with comfort sucking for 2 minutes attempting to wake her up) then went to pump instead. At night I get about an ounce to 1.5 ounces out of one breast. So my left breast I was only able to get about a half an ounce out. Which tells me she got at least half an ounce to an ounce. I should mention I did give her 2 ounces of expressed milk in a bottle before I put her to the breast. I guess my real question is: is she eating enough? Like I said she actively sucks for maybe 2-3 minutes and then I become a human pacifier.