I'm 36w 3d with my first. I live with my bf too. He is pretty unhappy that I'm pregnant, it was a surprise for both of us. He just bought our first house in January and I got pregnant sometime around March(due on dec 18). He thinks i did that on purpose. I didn't. I work full time I attend college half time and I'm 31 years old. I don't have a good plan. I didn't do this to myself on purpose. I am so scared I have no clue what I'm doing or what we're going to do. I have no one to reach out to for help with childcare but I can't afford to not work cuz I need to help pay the mortgage. I can't afford to quit school cuz I'm already on the hook for student loans and it doesn't make any sense to quit because the whole point of going back was to change careers. I so very worried about our relationship too, I don't want him to leave me but I also feel guilty about how much this has changed our lives. I didn't mean for this to happen but I hope we can make the best of it together. I miss having sex and feeling sexy and attractive. I hope to god he hasn't cheated on me. It feels awful to feel so lonely and rejected and so- you know- gross and unattractive. I want to do everything but am afraid I'll fail like so many other times in my life.