never imagined

My entire pregnancy I never imagined being flown to an NICU (heart specialist facility) and having her all wired up, and medicated. I imagined us going home to a nice thanksgiving dinner. I imagined feeding her, and sleeping with her..waking up to her looking healthy and energetic. I know I need to stay positive through the whole thing but it's so hard to do so.... Daddy is staying positive but it's really hard for me to see a brighter side to this.