My first time

I remember it. It wasnt a good experience.

I remember jamming on the guitar with my friend in her basement her fam had converted into a music room. We got to talking about sex, and she was already sexually involved with a man much, much older than her.

I was kind of jealous, not so much that i hadn't done it and she had, but because i couldnt relate to her. I wanted her to believe we had the same morals, even if that means doing something i never planned on doing so young.

We were both 15. I said something along the lines of

"Ugh, its SO annoying i havent had sex yet! Its about time.. "

And she couldnt agree more.

She started to name off people (guys) she knew that would be willing to pop my cherry.

"You just need to get it over with... tonight." She told me.

I was all for it, and after all, it kind of made me feel bad ass.

We decided on a boy who lived a few blocks down we shot a message to that night.

To this day i dont know anything about him. His name, what he looked like, his contact info. It was meaningless; dissaponting.

He came over shortly after we contacted him. All he brought was a condom and a jacket. We went into a room added onto the basement, which held miscellaneous workout equipment, some soccer/football stuff, etc. All dusty. And the room was a solid 55°F. Too cold.

I started to undress, and as each minute passed by, it felt more like a business exchange even, than human interaction. Just like buying clothing online. Mindless.

The door was cracked with my friend keeping watch for parents and also probably watching us -- I wondered a little, but my mind was so foggy and uncomfortable with myself and my surroundings.

He slid on the condom. We had no lube, and i was in no position to be providing it through myself either.

I was on top and all i can remember is pain. Taking a hold of a dumbbell for balance and trying to ease into it. My eyes fuzzied over with colors, from how intense the pain was. Tears were being shed, 1 by 1, while we took minute or two breaks when the pain was absolutely unbearable.

After about 20 minutes of this, we stopped. He didnt finish, i didnt finish.

I was so sore the next day, and was bleeding all over. And we never spoke again.