2 miscarriages and a ectopic pregnancy later. maybe my first positive?

After 2 miscarriages and a ectopic pregnancy that resulted in removal of my right Fallopian tube me and the hubs are trying for another. We have one beautiful two year old daughter already I cannot even begin to understand why it's so hard for us to conceive again. But I'm glad there are other women who understand and know how to talk to me other than I'm sorry and it'll happen when you never expect it. But really they have no clue what you're going through on the inside. I feel less of a woman at times because my body for some reason whatever it is, is going against me with a second baby. So I pray that this may be the he start of a positive test! What's it called? Rainbow baby? It's been a long road and even after I get a positive I'm high risk all the way through my pregnancy. But it's worth it 😊