Even writing this post I'm even confused why. Lately my moods have been getting from bad to worse, I no longer have interests in things I use to have and due to events happening around me I'm just feeling so empty.

I feel emotionally drained at times, physically drained at others and say I'll start to cry because I couldn't stop and then the next minute I'll wonder why I cried in the first place.

It's bad to admit thoughts of harm and I'm embarrassed to even write it and admit I have. I probably do occasionally think of that and I hate myself for it.

My friend has called me Paranoid, saying I was just making up the things I had said to be true and now I'm doubting everything I do. I try to be kind and nice yet some people claim I'm horrible. I'm scared of trusting people. I feel empty and drained and sometimes even emotionless and yet I'll feel like crying at times and I've lost interest in the things I use to love.

Being only in College I feel like this is normal but then I got so mad during an argument with another girl all I remember is physically having to hurt myself to stop myself doing anything I'd regret. I know that isn't normal. I'm scared to speak to my parents because I fear what they'll say or if they would take me seriously or how I would even start the conversation. I don't want to talk to my friends. I just feel it worsening and then getting better yet I just convinced myself for so long whatever this is wasn't happening or its normal.

If this is a normal thing to have most days then I'm not sure I like normality. What do I do?.