I guess I knew I had PTSD but within the last year it hit me like a hurricane out of nowhere. I keep remembering things I forgot. I keep feeling lonely even though I'm not and suicidal. I just keep getting more and they're just getting worse.

I'm on a month vacation. I came here to have fun and party some. But every time I drink I get flashbacks. After trying to hurt my boyfriend badly last night, I decided never to drink again. Ever. I wasn't even drunk and I can remember the night except when I had the flashback.

He says it's like I'm in a trance. I'm somewhere else. I can't hear him. I can't look him in the eyes. It's bizarre. I basically just start fighting him like I'm trying to get away even though it makes no sense.

I feel HORRIBLE. I feel like such a bad person. I would never want to hurt my love. I can't believe I would do that to him.

Please just tell me I'm not alone. I'm not going to drink for the rest of the trip and seriously not ever again. But if I go into a trance again how can my partner make it stop?