I'm gonna be real open to this community because well I want to be.

I've been with my husband going on 6 years this coming June but married to him for five years come June. A little confusing, yes. Lol

Anyway, we have not used any kind of protection since December of 2011 because we wanted to start a family... But here we are five years later. No family.

I'm really beginning to doubt my ability to start a family and I'm literally breaking every day that passes. Its like I'm not a woman if I cannot have one.

And for someone who has wanted children since I was 12 (a little young, yes but I don't care) it just hurts that I have not been able to or even had the chance to have one.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Or if it's him. Or SOMETHING! It's just everyone I know is pregnant or have been pregnant. Or are pregnant with their second or third child since I have been with my person. And I haven't even had one.

What's worse is that I do not have insurance, and I'm trying to get insurance but it's just so expensive.

I want to do things before I have children but then I'm just like fuck it! I want this, I need this. I just wish the odds were in my favor so I could experience the love a child has for their parents and experience the love parents have for their children.

I can feel it in my heart, it's broken and weak.

I just want a family already.

I know people have tried to conceive far longer than I have and I feel for them. Its hard business.

Thanks for reading. 😘💚