My dad died 5 years ago when I was about 9 years old. He and my mom had divorced several years after I was born. my older brother was probably 6 at the time. I never got to know him, and I don't know anything about him other than where he was born, his birthday, and his first and last name. I have a step dad now, but it isn't the same as having someone to call dad, because I call my step dad by his first name. He was a smoker, and he died of cancer. The last time I saw him, was when my brother and i went to a diner with him and I was probably 5. I never got to say goodbye, because he was in New Jersey when he died, and I was in Arizona. Probably the last thing of mine he ever saw was my report card. He will never get to see me accomplish anything and that makes me so sad. I wish I had someone to call dad. I wish I had both of my biological parents, instead of just my mom. I wish he was at least still alive. He did something very bad to me when I was little and I don't want to get into it, but I forgive him, I think. So now I can finally grieve, and it hurts so bad 😭