To Test... or Not To Test?

So I'm kinda stuck... AF due Dec. 16-17th, glow will tell me I can test tomorrow (the 14th) and of course I want to- but I don't.  I'm nervous.  I'm too scared to look at another negative test.  Plus, tomorrow my husband and I had plans to spend the entire day out together with his daughter (to someone else- and whom I wish oh-so much was mine)... I just don't know if I can handle the heartache and keep it together... Last time I took a test and it was negative I straight up bawled on the floor for a solid 45-minutes before pouring a large glass of wine and bawling some more on the couch and eventually going to bed... By myself...  But if I don't test- I will be consumed by thoughts of it until either AF shows up or I eventually crack and test...  Idk what to choose... Lol