Make up Break ups

The arguments are generally minor but he just goes on and on and starts saying things I consider unnecessary and disrespectful. Sometimes it can get quite loud and yes I get loud right along with him then end up feeling agitated and out of control. The ONLY thing that stops him from continuing is me saying we should probably go our separate ways. Then it's like a switch flipped. I'm at my whits end on how to break this cycle and I don't think continuing to break up with him to get him to settle the hell down is good for either of us. We need counseling but aren't in a position to afford it at the moment. I guess church would be an option but we're currently "living in sin.