Does it ever get easier? The negative after negative? Do you ever stop crying and hoping one day you too will be able to hold your own child in your arms? The first couple months were disappointing. After six months I became really worried about my fertility. And now after a year all I feel about the whole thing is depressed. Everyone asks when we're going to start trying, but we already have. The people who do know just tell us to stop trying, and others tell us to leave it to God. How do you stop trying for something you so desperately want? How do you leave it to God when he hasn't answered any of our prayers about it? Is the problem me? Is the problem my husband? It has made me hate us both at times. My period is sometimes late. It's like my own body is teasing me, laughing in my face. I wish I could give my husband the family he deserves. It kills me inside seeing him cry over it. We got a place with an extra room. It's like a grave for our broken dreams. We don't talk about the room, and we don't go in the room. Walking by it saddens me. It's a constant reminder of what my body has failed me to do.