4 years ttc!!!!!! I want to cry

4 years ttc and.my cousin has had 2 babies in 2 years ahhhhhhhh sitting smiling to her and when I got into car broke down!!! I OFFICIALLY HATE MY BODY!!!! btw I have a 5 year old that I conceived in a month with the same partner!!!! I am gonna loose it big style..sorry just needed a rant