just need to vent..... baby # 4

I just had a baby in September & when I was 8 months pregnant my daughter was diagnosed with cancer & it broke me, since my sons birth it's been very overwhelming, continuous appts, separating from my family during chemo & not being able to just focus on my new baby thankfully my son has helped his sister out with everything she has been through. I planned on a tubal ligation but insurance issues occurred so it was delayed, we weren't using protection but tried to me "careful" we obviously knew the chances were high but didn't think anything of it. So when I took that test and those 2 little lines popped up I was in shock, my son was supposed to be the last one, thoughts came up of what to do, the future came rushing through my mind of what if's etc. this was not planned at all even my husband was in shock. I have my first appt tomorrow (8 weeks & 2 days) regardless of it all this baby is a blessing as are all babies & I'm still in shock until i seen that little baby on that ultrasound screen & then I will know god is with & things will be okay. I just pray that my daughter finishes treatment successfully & is cancer free so we can be a happy family again ❤