F$ck being a hairy girl!!!!!!!!!

My body hair is so thick and black..I don't get it. I'm white and all my damn white friends have thin body hair that grows back slower than the repair of the US economy. Like seriously I will shave my legs, arms, underarms and my cupcake in the AM and it's already pokey by night. Like tf why can't the hair on my hair grow that fast. Ntm I can grow a FIERCE mustache but no way am I lookin like Pedro from Napolian Dynamite or however tf you spell that shit. Like why can't I be blessed with being hairless like a damn sphinx ... and on top of that shit, I have skin discoloration on my underarms and my bikini area like tf as if being as hairy as Harambe wasn't enough. I'm about to break out the Clorox and bleach the fuck out myself because it's embarrassing! 😑😒😒😒