Loving the lost

We are a family with a loved one struggling with addiction- we understand first hand how isolating it can be to go through your daily routine without anyone knowing about such a big and painful part of your life. We are here to offer you support and encouragement.

For years our family fought to save our loved one all alone. Outside of our immediate family, no one knew about the addiction. We chose to handle it this way- keeping it to ourselves to protect our loved one, and to protect ourselves from what other people might think or say about us; it was isolating. So often we felt our world stop turning while everyone else kept moving. There were nights that we didn’t sleep at all, trying to convince them to go to a treatment facility and then the next day we all went to work sleep deprived and emotionally drained- surrounded by people but feeling all alone. We all have checked our cell phone just to see the time throughout the day and without warning felt like we had been punched in the stomach because we saw a missed call from an unknown number- a call from an unknown number could always be the call that they overdosed, or are back in jail, or hurt themselves or someone else. Our world stopped but no one else’s did so we had to keep going- right into that meeting, right into teaching that next class, right into the grocery store- surrounded by people but feeling all alone. While other families felt excitement for birthdays, holidays, and family celebrations we secretly wondered if our loved one would even show up, or if they would truly be themselves if they did. The highs and the lows and secrecy of it all was exhausting and isolating. Many times we wanted to call in to work with “bad day for my addicted love one” and just stay in bed all day sick with worry. But no one knew- so we kept going and we kept going all alone. That’s the thing about loving an addict- no one sends you cards saying they are praying for you. No one brings you dinner on the days it takes all of your energy just to keep hoping and keep fighting for them. No one does those things because nobody knows- and just like with our family- nobody knows because we choose not to share that part of our life with them.

Our loved one made a choice that changed that- and soon our whole family and our entire community found out. We were scared for our loved one and scared to face everyone- and then something amazing happened. Our family and our community wrapped their arms around us. They started prayer groups for us. They sent cards and encouraging scriptures. They dropped off gift baskets. They came over to give us a hug and to cry with us. Suddenly- we weren’t all alone in this fight and it has made such a difference for our family. The outpouring of love and support has made this struggle so much easier to face. Now, more than ever before, we have seen God moving and working in our situation. He has opened doors and broken chains. He has provided protection, love, and grace in every new avenue we have faced. The extra prayers for our family have made a visible and lasting impact for our loved one and we are so thankful. We quickly learned what it truly means to “Let go and let God”. When we no longer had control over any part of the situation- God took the wheel and He is doing so much more than we ever could have.

We want to do that for you. We want to pass on the encouraging scriptures and words our community shares with us. We want to mail you cards to let you know you are not alone in this fight and we are praying for you. We want to leave cookies on your doorstep so you know we are thinking about you. We want to wrap our arms around you the way our community did for us.

We are called “Loving the Lost” because we, as family members of addicts, love the lost members of our family. We love them through the lowest and most painful moments of their lives and ours. We love them through hurtful words and actions. We love them unconditionally and we always fight to bring them back home. We love them even when it hurts more to love them than it would to cut them out of our lives. We love the lost members of our family- and we want to help support and encourage you through that journey.

This is not a group that should replace reaching out to professionals for help- for you and your loved one. Our family has done that and continues to do that. All we want to do is provide encouragement and support through e-mails with encouraging scriptures, quotes, or devotionals, mail you a card, and maybe mail a care package to your doorstep- just like our community has done for us. If you have a loved one who suffers with addiction and want us to share cards and e-mails with you please contact us at lovingthelost.always@gmail.com or send us a Facebook message. Your personal information will only be used to allow us to contact you so we can support you.