How do you split up the holidays?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. And I spent thanksgiving with him for the first time, this was a huge controversy between me and my sister because we always spend holidays at her house. Now the problem is that Christmas Eve my boyfriend has off and I would like to spend it with him and spend Christmas Day with my family. However I know this is going to be a fight again because i shouldn't be spending the holidays "in his side of the family" I'm 23 and people don't take me or my relationship serious in my family. Im literally contemplating to tell everyone that I'm volunteering all day (which I am in the afternoon) so I can spend the night time with my boyfriend and his family. P.S my sister is a princess and every holiday no matter what has to be celebrated at her house and I don't mind it either however, my brother in law is not a nice person and for he sake of my relationship I have never brought my boyfriend or brother in law around each other because my brother in law offends anyone without caring and my sister is in complete denial. My theory is we as a family can accept your husband because he's been around for a long time however, that doesn't mean that other people need to deal with it. Frankly my parents go to her house but if it wasn't for the live and respect I have for her and my nieces I wouldn't step foot in that house because wolf my brother in law. All these years I've never spent a real holiday with my boyfriend and his family I just wanted this year to be about his family since he's always complaining about not being able to spend holidays with me because I'm always at my sisters. Am I wrong? How do you split the holidays ? Thanksgivings? Christmas Eve? Christmas Day? New Year's Eve? New Year's Day?

Answer

We do BOTH, we contemplated doing one family thankgiving  and one family xmas eve ... and BOTH xmas day, but I changed my mind.  Honestly  in ALL my relationship  even younger  ones we always went to both houses. It saves everyone from being pissy.

Answer

For as long as I've been with my SO we have spent every single holiday with them. They never even ask or think to ask if I want to do anything with my family, they just expect us tobe with  them.
It has never been a huge deal because my family doesn't go over the top with holidays. We are more about quality time. So I have always tried to arrange little get together as few days before or after the holiday with my family.
Now that we have a baby it's important to me that she gets those Holiday memories with both families...so we did a thanksgiving dinner with my family 2 days after thanksgiving and we were with his family on thanksgiving, we are doing Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas with his

Answer

This is our first holiday season together. We went to our own thanksgivings because he wanted to be with his family. It's their first holiday season after his mom passing. I wasn't comfortable being there since I never met her, so I went to my own. For Christmas we're going to both. His family celebrate in the morning, mine celebrates in the afternoon.

Answer

Thanksgiving we go to my inlaws as I usually work the day before and the day after, and they only live an hour and a half away. Christmas Eve we go to the inlaws and hunt, Christmas Day we wake up, hunt, do presents, drive to my mom's (another hour an 45 away) do presents/dinner, and drive all the way home the day after Christmas. New Year's, I usually work both eve and day so it's just us and maybe friends.

Answer

Me and my husband usually will have Thanksgiving with his family and my family and just make sure the times are different (my side is very flexible). Then we spend Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas with my family. If your relationship is important to you it is important to learn to split the holidays. Your sister needs to understand that it's not fair to keep him from his family completely just so you can spend double time with yours. Best of luck, but I say you do you and let your sister adapt.

Answer

It's going to be way different this year, but we used to spend Christmas Eve at my mom's, Christmas morning at my grandmother's for breakfast, lunch with my dad, and dinner with my grandmother on the other side. It's been that way my entire life. My husband's family doesn't do anything for the holidays because they're all stooges and can't get along. This year we aren't going to my mom's or grandmothers Christmas Day dinner though so it won't be so hectic. Go to whichever you want! You're an adult, what are they gonna do, take your birthday away?

Answer

No...you're grown. If you wanna do it like that then go ahead. My bf and I usually go to my family first cause we end at 7, and then his cause they don't stop until like 2am😑 lll5. If you wanna spend time with his family go for it..they can't tell you what to do.

Answer

After my husband and I got together we had to run from my parents to his mom's to his aunts every holiday. By the end of the day we were exhausted, so we finally decided to have holidays at our house. We told our relatives if they want to see us they are more than welcome to come over but we were no longer spending the day running from place to place.

Answer

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, and this year we're spending Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at my parent house. And Christmas lunch and tea at his parents house.

Answer

Just depends on what works for you. My husband and I alternate holidays with each family. Thanksgiving at one, Christmas at the other. And we rotate every year so everyone knows exactly what we are doing and we spend time with both of our families. You'll just have to decide what works best for you and your SO and your families.

How do you split up the holidays?

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