What to do about my mother.


All the horrid things she's done, I've put aside.

But this is too far.

I'm 21, almost 22 weeks pregnant. Have been with my SO 8 years now, have stable jobs, live together, I'm 29, he's 33.

Well. This is the first year we were invited to my biological grandmother's, (my biological fathers side, (he sold me for drugs when I was 4-11 so I have no contact with him.) and this is the first time we've reached out.) Christmas party.

So we attended and would you guess what? My mother had told ever member there, that my SO was abusive to me, gave me an STD, needs to be beaten up, he's raped me, and cheated on me.

None of which is true. Not a single bit.

So I had to calm down over 50 people, while being five and a half months pregnant, to keep my SO from being beaten up.

This trip took us four hours to drive up there, just to have a shit storm hit us.

The reason my mother hates my SO so much is that when I was living with her, she charged me $1,300 a month for living with her(letting me pocket $100 for necessities, like soaps, food, and gas money for my car).

I also cleaned the house spotless everyday, (as in moving furniture, cleaning under it, sweeping, mopping, cleaning in appliances (stove, microwave, fridge, washer, dryer, moving them too, yada yada, everyday,).

Now, the reason I didn't move out while I was working is because she terrified me. I was scared to get a glass of water past 8 pm all days except Saturday, (when she would stay up later for her TV show. She has schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and was extremely violent. The last outburst she had was when I was 21 and moved in with my SO and she found out we had sex. She threw me through a window.

And that's not even a smidgen of what she's done in total.

Since then she has mellowed out considerably. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She has tried to make amends but her old ways of manipulation and lying, and shit stirring usually appear every few months, if not sooner.

Now, she had no idea I was communicating with my biological fathers family, or she would have tried to cover her tracks. It's very hard to prove things against her once she's had time to cover her tracks. But I have it.

I know I need to cut her out of my life. I know I need to, but I'm afraid to.

***I'm wondering if I should cut her off before the holidays or wait?

As much as she's done to me, I'd feel horrible for ruining her holiday. I know I shouldn't, but I would.

I could also use some support, and what you think I should do. I'm so sorry this was long, I tried to make it as short as o could, but it didn't really work.***

Thank you.