am I wrong?

Question

Am I wrong to be insecure about my boyfriend going for drinks with people at his new work place? He's only just started and been there for 2 weeks, since he's been there he barely texts me, he's been distant at home and kinda feels like I'm living with a friend then he tells me at last minute that he's going out for drinks tonight. I feel neglected and lonely but I don't know if I'm over reacting. Please help!

Answer

He's just trying to find his place in his new work group. Let him have his fun and get to his coworkers/vice versa so he feels like he can fit in. He's trying to establish some bond so he'll fit in better and know his coworkers on a more personal level so things at work won't be too hard. Once he finds his place, things will probably go back to normal. Starting a new job with new people is hard enough as it is, so just lay low and let him figure it out instead of adding stress by making him feel like what he's doing is wrong.

Answer

Just going out for drinks does not seem like a big deal. But the other issues you outlined could potentially be a problem. However, he could just be dealing with the normal stress of starting a new job and becoming acquainted with the work and the people, or even something else you may not be aware of. Not everyone is great at letting their partner know those sort of things. 
I would communicate with him, without being accusatory or overly emotional. Just let him know you have been feeling distant from him lately; it is making you concerned, and you just want to check and see if everything is okay. Is he stressed? Is there something bothering him? What can we do to reconnect and make things better? I personally wouldn't bring up the outing with coworkers, as to me that doesn't seem like the real issue. 
Bottling your feelings will likely only make the situation worse. It is always better to talk through it so that you can move forward. Otherwise, you will just be left wondering, and possibly taking things personally that are not (hopefully) personal. Give him a chance to explain himself, and don't get too worked up. If he refuses to communicate, then I would say you may have a bigger issue on your hands.

Answer

I understand your feelings, it's a sudden change to what you had as the norm only 3 weeks ago. But I think that right now he is focussing on his new job, trying to bond with his co-workers and make his work life more enjoyable.

That being said, don't keep your personal feelings locked up on the situation. Tell him how you're feeling so he is aware otherwise he'll be blissfully unaware that you're even upset. Do it in a very casual / calm way - you don't want to come across as attacking him for making a life for himself. Just say you've missed him the last few weeks and maybe make a plan to do something together after work - cinema, meal, beach etc.

Answer

Maybe ask if you can join sometime and see what it's like? Then you can get the vibe if it's something to be jealous of. It sounds like he's just in a new phase and transitioning and trying to make the job work. But I don't think it should be too unusual to bring a gf out

Answer

Its Xmas so you should have invited yourself.

am I wrong?

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