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Long but please read and pray for me...

So I come to Glow not only for support but to also let others know to always follow their instinct no matter what anyone tells you because you know your body and your baby!

Background...im 21 yrs old, first baby, thyroid problems(which makes it hard for me to conceive), I wasn't trying and my doctor said I couldn't but God had other plans..first trimester I was threatening a miscarriage because my placenta detached from my uterus and doctor told me that it attached back my baby and I was fine!!

My son started moving around at 16 weeks very active...Sunday was the last day he was active and Monday everyone said he's growing so maybe he's getting lazy, I felt some was wrong but this my first child so I followed advice...Tuesday I felt nothing and became even more worried after doing all that I was taught to get him moving which lead me at 1am I called the hospital, they told me to eat ice chips for 30mins and sit up...well I ended up dosing off which I blame myself but soon as 8am hit Wednesday morning I called my doctor told me to go to the women's hospital! The father of my child was at work so my family met me there. As the did the sonogram, I heard noticed so they switch to ultrasound and I saw nothing...I begun to cry they called in the expert and she pronounced my son decreased! So I had to deliver him which I did Dec 22 @ 4:14am at 22wks and 6 days!

This is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life...i did everything right and I still lost him because my placenta detached from my uterus and I didn't know!! I pray that no one ever has to deal with this and if you have I'm so so sorry! Having to decide if I wanna bury my child or cremate him hurts even worse cause I don't wanna do neither! As I hold him in my arms it makes me feel better but it hurts! To hear the crying babies in the hospital, it's killing me! To push him out and not hear a cry bought me to reality!

I'm sorry that I've bought this to Glow but I need some prayers please cause I don't know what to do! I feel like I got my miracle child and he was snatched away from me! I pray that each and everyone of you have a safe delivery and healthy baby and please follow your motherly instincts because I regret that I didn't even though there was not I could do about my placenta! Today Dec 23 is the last day I get to hold my child and I'm not ready to let go and I don't want anyone to feel that pain! So PLEASE follow your instincts and go to your doctor or call your midwife if you feel some wrong!

This is my Carter and I wish I could feel his lil kicks and I wish it was April 20 because it would've been time!