I'm so conflicted

Hey so I originally got this app to try to get pregnant. After a month or so my husband and I decided it was better for us to wait to actively try so now we are not trying but not preventing because birth control really messes with my body. So anyway I have a ton of medical problems (fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, ptsd, and resting tachycardia) and that's why I agreed to wait and I'm actually really scared to get pregnant. But I'm also have crazy baby fever. So as of now I'm about 3 days late and taking a test in the morning and I'm at the point I'm going to be really disappointed if I'm not pregnant cause I wanna be a mommy so bad. So I just don't know how to feel. Sorry for rambling and thank you for reading