super angry

Hey everyone, I really just need to let off some steam. I'm six weeks pregnant (total accident) and I feel horrendous. Morning sickness is such a lie, it lasts the whole day. For the last couple of days or so, whenever I've gotten into bed to go to sleep, my brain says 'hey don't you want to be sick now?!' No one else except the guy knows. I can't tell my mum, which means I have to hide my symptoms from her, not easy when you feel nauseous the whole time. My stomach hurts every time I cough or sneeze or laugh, it's all I can do not to fold myself up with the pain. And I am furious. I am furious that when I asked my doctor for birth control months ago she said I shouldn't interfere with my body as my periods had only just started to settle down. I'm furious with myself for thinking that I wouldn't be pregnant because he didn't even cum. I'm furious, most of all, with him. He gets to walk away from all this. He doesn't have to plan his day around food, he doesn't have to smile and lie and think of excuses for the nausea. He doesn't have to struggle to hide this from people. He doesn't have to feel sick all day everyday. He doesn't have to spend half an hour every morning doing yoga and tai chi to try and ease those queasy feelings (has that worked for anyone? Hasn't for me). He doesn't even need to ask how I feel, because he doesn't care. He gets to switch this off and shut it out and carry on his life because nothing has changed. I feel very stupid and very alone and very upset.