Long labor story but here it is...

I knew before I even got pregnant I wanted a natural, drug free birth. I read all about breathing techniques, had multiple birth affirmations memorized, and had my husband prepped on ways to help me through the pain. I knew I wanted to give birth at the birthing center. I wanted to be able move through labor. I knew I wanted delayed cord clamping and immediant skin-to-skin. I knew I wanted a hep- lock IV, to have intermediate monitoring, to labor at home as long as possible, to get into the water whenever I needed. I had everything planned. What I didn't know is God would laugh as he took my ideal labor and delivery and completely turn everything upside down.

I was 39 weeks and 6 days when I went in for my 40 week check up. As I got my whale of a body up on the exam table the nurse told me I was to be induced the following week if I didn't go naturally and that I would be giving birth at the hospital. I'd come in the night before and start a Foley bulb then the next morning they'd start me on pitocin. Of course this freaked me out. Everything I had read basically said pitocin is some serious shit and to stay away from it. So she checked my BP which was borderline high. Well I just had half of my birth plan thrown out so of course I'm a little worked up. She said we'd check it at the end of the appointment. For the past three weeks I had been dilated to a one with small progressions each week. I had been walking none stop, rolling on a stupid yoga ball, and having some alone time with my husband none stop, hoping that I'd be dilated more. The Doctor comes in and checks me, still a 1! So now I'm real irritated and about to have a complete hormonal break down. The nurse comes back in and my BP is still a little high so they decide to send me to L&D to be monitored for a few hours. This makes me completely lose it. I'm driving around trying to find a parking spot while having a horrible melt down. I'm talking snot and mascara streaming down my face. I felt as if everything was starting to unravel.

I waddle up to the second floor and get checked in. They hooked me up and monitored me for 2 hours, in which time my BP never returned to normal. They called the doctor who decided to go ahead and induce me. I called my husband to go get the hospital bags and to come up there. I got prepped which consisted of four different nurses trying to start an IV and fluids and a Foley bulb being inserted.

Within 2 hours I was dilated to a 4, an hour later I was at a 6. I had zero pain. Slight menstrual cramp feeling every once in awhile but nothing I couldn't handle. I thought I had it in the bag. I was ready. But then my labor stalled. I was stuck at a 6 and because of my BP I wasn't allowed to get out of bed. They told me it would be best to either break my water or start pitocin. We debated and decided to break my water, which made my contractions a little stronger but I was still comfortable. An hour later they checked me again and still at a 6. They told me I should really think about pitocin. Another hour passed, still a 6 so pitocin was started. Nothing bad a first. Contractions were getting stronger. Hour later still a 6. They uped the pitocin but my babe couldn't handle it so they lowered it until she stabled then raised it again. This up and down went on for a few hours. The contractions were so strong. I was allowed to stand by my husband and sway with him through each one. At one point they had my pitocin level at an 8 and I was having back-to-back contractions that were off the charts, but we kept swaying and moaning through each one. I was doing okay until they told me I had to get back in bed. I begged them to let me stand but my contractions weren't being picked up. I reluctantly laid down. Each contraction came and ripped me apart. I couldn't breathe or concentrate. The pain was unbearable. All I could do was cry. I was exhausted, discouraged, and defeated. Pitocin had won. I caved and asked for the epidural.

Within minutes they were prepping me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, tears silently falling down my face, looking into my husband's eyes and asking why everything was going so wrong.

30 minutes later I was laying on the bed, legs completely numb, trying to sleep. Then the contractions started back up. Slightly uncomfortable at first, but increasingly getting worse until I was in tears again. They kept pushing more meds over and over trying to numb me. Finally they decided to redo the epidural. Thankfully the second one took. They check me again still a flipping 6. By this time the started to mention a c-section. Luckily my OB was very patient because I was stuck at a 6 for 15 hours! Finally the next morning I was blessed to be assigned a nurse who they call "Pitocin" because she makes babies who don't want to come come lol. She was amazing!

By 2:30 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push. I pushed for an hour and a half and finally delivered my baby girl. She weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and was 21 inches long. They pulled her out and immediately clamped the cord. I of course was upset then I noticed she hadn't cried. I looked and my baby was purple. So many people rushed over and began working on her. She started breathing but never cried just laid there.

After 30 minutes I was allowed to hold her. She just flopped on my chest and didn't move. She had zero suck reflux and delayed responses. The NICU doctor came and evaluated her and decided she needed to be admitted to the NICU. My baby, who I had only known for two hours, was taken from me. I was completely heartbroken. The nurse came to move me to postpartum care. I got the quick intro to the room, took my meds, and immediately went to see my babe.

For the next 5 days I was a zombie. Spending all day at the hospital then going home at night and pumping every three hours then back up there bright and early. They did an EEG and a MRI and everything came back normal. She's now 3 weeks old and is completely normal. She is a totally different baby.

My delivery definitely didn't go how I wanted but I got the most amazing girl out of it and I'd do it all again. It's true what the say there's nothing like a mother's love.