Do I actually want Dick or just penetration?

Recently I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'm sapphic/ attracted to women. But my problem has been figuring out if I'm actually attracted to guys? Cause I'm general penises are gross but when I'm horny and in that mood I start fantasizing about dicks and all of that when normally the thought is kind of gross to me? Maybe I'm still feeling bad about my sexuality in general but I only seem to crave dick or fantasize about getting a guy off when I'm ovulating/ am super horny. Like I really only get off when I masturbate the inside of my vagina along with the clit etc. Anyone have any thoughts/advice/ experience with this? (I'm a virgin btw and have little experience lmao)