Why do you sleep with abusers??

Question

I know some ladies who are in abusive relationships and they are well aware of the fact that they are living with incorrect people. Why do such people still sleep with them and get pregnant knowingly and then end up breaking up, making the child a fatherless one. What happens to such people's brain? Why can't they just stay strong and walk out of such toxic relationships? There's absolutely no need to bash, I just feel pregnancy and giving life to a creature is a beautiful experience and a woman deserves way more than such losers, so my concern is about giving a thought before going through this journey with such man or handling it alone.

Answer

From my experience, this is how it is.

When you're with someone who abuses you, they don't just start beating you. First comes the controlling which makes you drop your friends and family, you're all alone now. Then comes the manipulation that makes you forget who you are, you now have lost yourself. Then comes the guilt, they are there to make you feel better and they apologize and you believe they are all you have. Then it's small things, fights, grabbing, a little pushing here and there. Then they full on hit you, then drop to their knees begging for forgiveness, they say it'll never happen again, so you blame yourself. It's your fault they hit you. "If only I hadn't made him mad." You begin walking on eggshells, you don't want to upset him, but you mess up and you do upset him so he beats you. Again, "if only i hadnt made him mad" 
Then one day, you wake up and realize that it's not normal. But by then, you have lost everyone and everything. You have lost yourself and you depend on him for everything. You are alone and you feel as if you have no where to go. So you stay. You stay until something happens to get you out.

It's not all black and white. When it's you getting beat, in your mind it's all your fault.

Answer

Until your in that place , to be  honest you will never understand. Yes it's easy to look in from the outside and make these comments but until you've been here you won't get it.

And I'm speaking from experience

Answer

I think it's looks black and white on the outside of these stories but inside it's all a huge grey area. I personally think in these situations the abuser almost "grooms" the victim, leading them down the spiral of lack of self esteem and constantly reminding them how they deserve it, while balancing it with "I love you's" etc and so for the victim it's very hard to see what's actually being done to u. And sometimes it starts after the kid so u don't wanna break that dream of a family and the reality of a broken family is too much and u wanna at least try and make it work. Till that one thing happens that u snap? I dunno this is just my analysis. Seeing a lot of the stories, a common factor seems to be the victim almost being forced to have self esteem in an almost subtle way.

Answer

Maybe they didn't have a choice? Also many women who are in such relationships have terrible self esteem and are blinded by their manipulation. It isn't as cut and dry as you seem to think it is. I know when I was at my lowest, I would ignore any signs of abuse and cling to whoever would say they cared, even if they hit me right after. They still said it and they could at least pretend to care.

Answer

Nobody thinks it will be them or purposely gets with an abusive partner. Also, abuse is a gradual thing it doesn't start immediately. It's not all black and white, and you can still love someone.. Even those that hurt you.

Answer

Children from non-abusive relationships end up in broken homes, too... Are those mother's less blameless?

Answer

Some women plot revenge.....

Why do you sleep with abusers??

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