Love & Sex
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I want everything ur ex related gone!
Ladies, am I a bitch or doing too much here? My man had been with his ex for 5 years and they have a 4 year old daughter together (or so he thinks but she cheated on him so many times I told him to get a paternity test so he's positive). Anyways the bed in his bedroom, him and his ex brought together. I hate his bed, it's ugly and the memories on it are too much for me to handle. I do not like being on that bed because of that and keep demanding that we do not get intimate on it bc of that. I only asked for a new mattress which I offered to pay for so ladies do not think I was making demands about that. I was also trying to be considerate.
His ex also bought him a few ugly cloths that he never wears and are ripped apart but he wouldn't throw them out 🙄
She bought him a shaving kit as well which he uses every morning. His exs mother gave him an ugly dirty couch and he wouldn't get rid of it either despite it not matching his living room decor and how dirty it was so his roommates got rid of it instead.
All of that started to make me feel like he wants his exs prescense around hence keeping all of these things still. He got rid of a jacket (so he said) and told me when he burns it he'll send me a video. Never got a video. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him I wanted him to do the right thing, with everything.
I personally do not keep things my exes give me and expect the same from my partner no matter if they were you're baby mama or not.
As far as the shaving kit he said it is expensive so he would not get rid of it because that would be ridiculous. He sad he does not think of his ex when he uses it at all yet he always talks about how his ex brought him with his own money the wrong shaving kit for his bday. So for Christmas I told him I wanted the shaving kit he originally wanted and that I will take the old one and break it. He asked if he can give the old one to a friend and I said absolutely not because I am breaking it to relieve my anger. And he also still has not done that so I'm not sure why he asked what I wanted for Christmas.
Now my thing is I want everything his ex related OUT. I do not care how expensive it is but I do not want memories of her around me or him. What's the point?
Is it wrong of me to ask that everything related to her be gone? I think keeping items from exes is only to keep memories and reminisce on them where if you are in a committed relationship then you should not need that.
And let me add that I think he had time before him and I got together to get rid of all of that. He was single for 2 years after his ex. How much time exactly does he need?
His daughter has never been an issue for me. I love her so much despite when she acts out and starts hitting me and scratching me. She's like the child I've never had. I spend more money on her than her mother according to him. And sometimes he says I spend more money on her then he does. So the child has nothing to do with it. I am the type of person that items mean a great deal to me. The person that bought it for me and their reasoning and memory which is why those petty things bother me. I know it sounds controlling which is why I'm asking for feedback because idk what to do! After reading a few of the comments I apologized to him and said that I was over exaggerating about the objects and that he does not need to get rid of some of them bc I seeked help on this app and women told me I'm exaggerating and I should not view this as a big deal. He was impressed but I honestly need other to listen to me and tell me if I'm over exaggerating otherwise I assume everyone is similar.
As far as his ex, she will obviously always be there as the mother of his child which I am fine with as long as she has boundaries. Maybe I should have mentioned this in the post earlier but his ex completely was out of the picture and had her mother pick up her slack (watch her daughter, feed and pay for her everything) while she went and partied in other cities while sleeping on others couches. She would pursue men and women on social media and send them nudes, offer sex for parties and drugs. He showed me those msgs because he took a screenshot of it. Point is as soon as the exs mother found out about me she told her daughter who all of a sudden decided to start flirting with my man, texting him and asking why he loved her, stripping down to him to show him her body when he comes to pick up the daughter from the grandmothers house, come over on valentine to his house, ask him to help her with taxes and to pick and drop her off to parties. It was so sudden and unexpected that YES it made me insecure about my relationship and wanted everything physical related to her gone. The reason I became insecure: my man told me when she stripped down in front of him he got hard but didn't say anything. That tells me he's still attracted to her so if she made those moves and continued to do so god knows what will happen between them. They're not strangers to one another, in fact they're extremely familiar with each other.