I was in an abusive relationship for about 8 months, and I gained so much weight from it, and lost a ton of confidence. Then, a man that I have loved for many years, used me. So, now that it's a new year, I'd like to get back to the old me.

Most people say "New year, new me," well, when you're perfectly content with who you used to be, it's hard to make someone completely new. I want to find my confidence, and be able to talk to people, like I used to. It is like I feel something constantly holding me back.

So, hopefully by this time next year, I'll be able to say, that I'm finally happy, that I'm finally confident, and even if I can't, then it'll be better than where I'm sitting now. Saying that I want to go back to something else, feels completely taboo, because while there was a hard time, I also learned a lot from the heart ache that I've felt.

I've learned to not please everyone, and that I don't owe anyone anything if I decide to stop how things are going. I don't have to be at every call. So, hopefully I become an even better old version of myself.