My Story - didn't know which one it was most appropriate for.

Beth • Mammy to Phoebe after waiting nearly 3 years. Worth the wait💜 13.09.19 7lbs💜
Hi, my names Bethany. I wasn't going to post this on here - the story is quite long and will get mixed reactions. - I'm 17 years old, going back a little I was 15 years old, in school so close to doing my GCSE results. My THEN partner and I had been together for around 6 months, until I fell pregnant - going back a little more (I don't want sympathy) me any my older sister (24) didn't have a very good upbringing, my Mam and dad beat each other, they were on drugs, we were going home to home seeing them be together then they weren't, cheated on each other (2 other sisters from this) and then they had another child together (my little sister) there is a hell of a lot more, however yes we did not have a good up bringing. - BACK TO BEING 15, my THEN partner was 17, used to beat me. When I fell pregnant I had been so ill for weeks until it was time to go to the doctors, my 'mother' took me, we found out I was pregnant, she smacked me across the face when we got in the car and told me I was a 'slut, slag, disgrace, vile, stupid c*nt' all the things you could possibly think of. (WE USED CONDOMS). She said there was no way it was happening even if she had to kick it out of me herself. I was in so much shock that I couldn't speak, tears streaming down my face when I didn't even realise, I couldnt see. It was like my world stopped. Got home to my step-dad and then it got worse, I was dragged to my room and locked in it, the windows were locked I had my phone - every kind of technology taken of me so I couldn't contact anyone (dad, grandma, my then partner, friends) and I was left in my room. My 'step-dad' came up, held my hand and told me it was just shock and that they'd be by my side whatever my decision. Then the words stumbled out 'I'm not going to do what you both want me to' and that was it, he hit the roof. The next morning I was told to go downstairs, where my grandad was also, they told me if I kept my baby I would be homeless, my baby would die, we'd have no one, everyone would hate me, so much more. The only words that I could get to come out was 'I'm keeping my baby' days went on, they kept me of school so I couldn't tell anyone, my 'mam' took me to my first appointment to see how far I was along (she told the doctor I wasn't aloud to see my baby and he nodded) I cried, I was 12 weeks along. I then had to go to another appointment where I had to get bloods taken, take some sort of tablet to 'start it off' then go to a clinic on the 5th Feb/2015 - nearly 2 years ago. You all might be thinking, whydidnt she tell the doctors? Why didn't she refuse infront of the doctors? Why didn't she run away? It's not that easy when your so terrified of three people. PETRIFIED. So the 5th February came, I was in labour for 4 hours, I was 14 weeks pregnant. My Mam sat there the whole time reading a magazine. I was given diamorphine and paracetamol. All I did was scream, sob, cry. The nurse knew, my Mam never looked at me. The nurse took me to the toilet, she lay on the bed with me, I was in and out of sleep inbetween contractions. And the last thing she said to me while lying on the bed was 'it's ok baby girl, it's ok' stroking my head. 15 years old. My own family. Some people may think it's right what they did? but they CERTAINLY did not go the right way about it. Then I gave birth to my baby, I never seen him/her as when i gave birth was when my Mam finally looked away, had a look at my baby and said 'don't bother looking'. I was aloud to go straight home, lay on the back seats of the car staring, crying, no seatbelt we got home. Stumbled to the house and there they were, step dad and grandad sat on the living room chairs. I looked and crawled upstairs to my bed. I was finally aloud back to school where I picked up the courage to tell my grandma and I moved out of my mothers house March 2015 and am still here now. I've never gotten over the grief of it and I don't think I ever will. Me and my Mam have recently started talking again and they have all apologised, I'll never forgive them. I also left my then partner after being together 13 months down to being abusive, possessive and controlling. All I've wanted is my baby, and me and my OH are in our second month TTC now, it's all I want, and it's all he wants with me. I may only be 18 but what happened with my mother made me 200x stronger, i grew up, I realised. This is going to get mixed reactions or maybe none at all. I've came to the facts that it was not my fault after thinking for so long it was.
Thank you for reading this, I don't want sympathy, I just want everyone to know that no matter what we go through, us women get through it.❤