I really want him to get more physical, sex wise...

He gets kinky when I give him a blow job. He shoves it in my mouth, pulls my hair, slaps me hard with it. It's fucking sexy! But when we start having sex he just stops with the kinkyness. I keep telling him to get kinky during sex too, but he won't. How do I get him to get more physical? (Like spanking, not hitting)