Am I Crazy?

So, my husband and I are both 31 and have been trying for a baby for almost a year now. He has low testosterone and low sperm count and I also struggle with chronic anxiety and panic attacks. I'm on Celexa and Ativan (as needed) and I've gotten to this point where I almost don't even care if I get pregnant and wouldn't even mind if I wasn't able to get pregnant because I'm so terrified of carrying a child. I feel like as soon as I were to find out I was pregnant, I'd immediately have a panic attack. I worry that I would panic all through labor and give myself a heart attack because it just couldn't handle my anxiety.