Mom threatened to kill herself & now won't talk to me
I got her car stuck in a snow drift in our driveway when I was leaving to go to a doctor's appointment. She was pissed off that I did that. Like it was on purpose. There's only a narrow car width between one side of the driveway and the drift. I just didn't turn quick enough. I haven't been driving for over a month (just gave birth a month ago - boyfriend takes me wherever I need to go which is usually just walmart) and I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep and had already been up for 12 hours by then. I was beyond fried. Well I messed up so I called my mom to come help me because I wasn't able to rock out of the drift. She's usually pretty good at getting out of the snow. The entire time she was helping me she was pissy and wouldn't answer my questions. When I tried to help shovel out the snow she wouldn't let me because I'm not yet 6 weeks postpartum. But she has a broken wrist. And then later she got mad at me because she was going to break her wrist to help me.
Well we couldn't get it unstuck so I took my grandma's car. When I got back home she was in a better mood. I asked if we could just wait til the morning to dig it out because it was dark and cold. She said she was going to pull it out with our van so I was all "okay, it'll be fine then."
Later that night she started getting snippy and rude about the whole thing. I told her that I needed her to be more helpful and actually answer my questions when we were out at the car but she said she couldn't because she's not like me so she doesn't have to answer my questions so that they make sense to me. I told her how she ignored over half of everything I said and she said something along how she had the right to because she was hurting herself helping me.
Well it blew up from there. She said that I don't appreciate anything she's done for my baby and me since he's been born. And just a lot of stuff. I said how she has always ignored me (to which she said I probably just didn't say those words out loud) and this was the breaking point for me.
She said no one ever helped her with myself or siblings and she does everything for me. I thank her everyday for helping me out and that I don't know what I would've done without her (probably have PPD for sure though). But me saying that she ignores me half the time and just her being so rude to me while trying to help me had the reverse affect made her think I don't appreciate or love her. So she said she was going to go take her gun and shoot herself. She was done. No one cares about her. Why should she be alive?
I stayed inside to feed my baby. My boyfriend tried to get my mom's car unstuck. I thought she was helping him (she was angry and yelled at him to help her so she could go do what she threatened to do) but 30 minutes later I go outside to see how everything was coming and she's nowhere. We looked everywhere. We couldn't find her and her gun case was empty on the bed. We drove around for an hour and still couldn't find her. She wouldn't answer our calls either. I called my dad and she wouldn't answer him.
We drove to a friend's because we had no gas and money for gas left. She called me. That was 2 hours later. She told me I need to stop lying to my dad (I called him to see if he could get in touch with her and I mentioned that we were out looking for her). She didn't believe that we went looking for her because obviously we're stupid if we couldn't find her. She wanted me to pick her up and then changed her mind, got mad and hung up. I kept trying to get her to tell me where she was but she wouldn't tell me on the calls that got through.
Right now I'm home and so is she. She won't talk to me or anything. She's packing her stuff up right now.
I don't know what to do. She lost her dad to cancer when she had her first child but now she's going to threaten to willingly do that to me? I knew she wasn't going to kill herself but I knew she was thinking about it. She's always been like that.
I feel so stupid for letting it blow up like that and not having searched harder for her. I feel like I've lost my mom...