Should there be a limit ?

Question

Lets say a father (or mother) leaves their child and does not see him for a long time and has nothing to do with him. A deadbeat. Should there be a limit on the time that hes gone to where when he does decide to come back the courts cant make you let him see the child? My son is 4 and a half. His father left when i was pregnant, didnt have anything to do with my pregnancy or doctors appointments while pregnant or after having him. Whenever he did message me (half the time it was his gf pretending to be him) and i would agree on a time and place for him to visit our son he wouldnt show. So from a personal experience i think there should be a limit and after so long the father (or mother if shes the deadbeat) shouldnt be allowed back in their lives. If you think there should be a limit what is it?

Answer

My father is a deadbeat and I can count on one hand how many times we actually spent some time together. My mom didn't like that he was a deadbeat but didn't deny me the ability to see him and vice versa. As I grew up I developed my own opinion of my father instead of it being an extension of my mom's feelings. I don't hate him but I don't like him either. Haven't seen him since I was in elementary school but if he showed up out of nowhere I'd give him some of my time. I feel if my mom prevented us from seeing each other, I wouldn't have been able to form my own opinions of him. Even though it hurt me in the end.

Answer

I think that in rare cases, people change so no i dont think there should be a set limit.

Answer

That would be a big fat NO. Let me give u a scenerio. What if the person you decided to have child with went to prison while you were pregnant and stayed for 8 years and got iut. Why would this person not be allowed his rights to see his child? Who cares if he went to prison. 9 times out of 10 you know this persons personality b4 you decide to have a baby. If he gies away and comes back into the childs life, remember you made that decision to conceive with him/her. You are just going to have to deal with their irresponsibilities, because they still have their rights.

Answer

Technically, you may be able to ask the courts to terminate his parental rights, after 90 days of no physical contact, no financial support, no phone calls, letters or any type of correspondence. Don't quote me on that, but I think it would fall under the category of abandonment. If you are successful at having his rights terminated, he at any time can petition the courts to have his rights reinstated but, he will have to prove that he's fit to be a parent.

Answer

My mom had to leave my dad when I was young (<2) because of his alcoholism & inappropriate behavior. He remarried very soon after. My mom didn't ask for child support until she knew he could afford it. He didn't ask for visitation until then, by which point I was 7. We didn't talk on the phone or communicate at all up to that point. But really, I'm glad for the relationship I have with him, despite only visiting for a week or two each year. The two times I was hospitalized for trying to kill myself, he was far more supportive of my depression than my mom ever was, & he gave insight to her behavior that was necessary for me to move on. It should be up to your child whether they have contact with their [nonviolent] parent.

Answer

As a child who had gone through a similar experience with my own parents, I personally think you should let the father see his child until the child is old enough to decide for themselves, I would have loved having a choice even if my parent(s) didn't agree with it.

Answer

It really depends. If he's not a good guy at all, then yeah. But like my father was in and out of my life. I didn't see him much and I still don't call him dad when talking to him. But he changed when I was about 13 and he started acting like a dad. A little late, but at least he pulled his head from his ass.

Answer

Can't you go to court and fight for custody and no visitation rights?

Answer

I live in Colorado and there is a limit here. I want to say it's a year, but I'm not 100% sure.

Answer

You should be able to file for abandonment/neglect on his part after 3-4 months of NO CONTACT. By no contact I mean, he hasn't tried to contact you regarding y'alls child, he hasn't tried to talk to him, he hasn't tried to arrange visitation, etc. Keep record of every conversation you two have. 
From experience, I'm gonna say 3-4 months of no contact what-so-ever is a reasonable time frame. If you can go 3-4 months without trying to see or hear your child's voice or see/hear how they are doing in life, you are showing me you don't care. IF you decide you want contact later on, MAYBE we can work something out- depending on your current situation and lifestyle.
But this is just my opinion.

Should there be a limit ?

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