I was with my son's dad for 4 years too long. I've been getting abused and stalked by him. I honestly want to die. I've spent the whole 2016 trying to escape him. Last night he choked and raped me. I'm tired. I'm scared.  I shouldn't have stayed as long as did. I truly blame myself for it. My son deserves better and I deserve better. We haven't been together since early 2016. Idk what to do. I'm just tired I've done the best I possibly could for my son. I just need someone to talk to honestly.