Today's Thoughts of an Impatient Momma

Alisha
I went to my 37 week appointment on Tuesday praying for news that I was ready to have the baby. But in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't. I was a complete 2 cm. I came home disappointed and upset. I also found out I was GBS positive, which isn't a huge deal, just means I have to stay 48 hours after birth, which is putting my husband in a hard spot because they are not wanting to let him off work at all hardly! Anyway...I go walk Tuesday evening, have sex, bounce on my exercise ball and hope with the full moon coming we'd have a baby soon! Come Wednesday night, same routine. Then I do kick counts Wednesday night and he got them in, but it took him a long time and he went over an hour by about 20 minutes. Through the night I woke up making sure he was still moving. Come Thursday morning I'm exhausted from hardly sleeping and having those annoying BH consistently since Tuesday. I call my OB to ask them about the kick counts, only to find out my doctor is out sick! He's never sick and if he isn't there to deliver then I know I'm going to go into panic mode and not do so well. And yes I know it's not a guarantee, but he's always been there. I found it somewhat amusing because I have been so upset and ready to have this baby out of me for weeks, only to get no where and then soon as I find out my doctor isn't available I suddenly got motivated to let him come when he was ready! ☺️ Heard the saying, we make plans and God laughs? That's what I thought about.  Sometimes when we seem so desperate for things to go our way and they don't, we get angry, upset and depressed and don't understand. Then there's the little moments like yesterday when you seem to get a glimmer of understanding why things are happening the way they are! God knows what he's doing with this life he created inside me and I need to be patient and wait on his timing. Am I miserable? Yes. Do I still want to meet my seeet baby soon? Yes. But I've become peaceful with the waiting. And I'm so thankful because honestly after Tuesday I didn't know if I could make myself get up and go on with daily activities because I was so upset. And yes, I know babies come when they are ready but it doesn't help us impatient momma's to be in these last few weeks! Yes I'm ready for him but at the same time I'm like please just give our doctor some time to get over his sickness little one.