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Really starting to lose all hope

Just found out my first FET failed. After 5 failed IUIs, one failed fresh transfer and one failed frozen transfer, I'm feeling like this is never going to happen. That it's just not in the cards for me and I'm devasted. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years and were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We've never had a positive in all our time of trying. The hardest part for me has been that up until the getting pregnant part, everything goes perfectly. They always say I respond much better than someone my age (37) to medication, etc, but then it never sticks. We have 4 frozen embryos left, but I just can't kick this feeling of utter hopelessness. Sorry for the long rant. Any optimism and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.
M
Posted at Jan 17, 2017 • 159 responses

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Ky
Posted at Feb 11, 2017
M I am in the exact same boat as you. My beta is Monday and I'm fairly confident it'll be negative like my fresh cycle in December. My husband and I are also unexplain I fertility. We are both about to turn 27 and the doctors have no idea why it isn't working. Next round we are doing the PGS testing and implanting 2. Hold on to hope! If you need someone going through this too, reach out to me! 
Ky:  M how are you feeling? Everything going okay for the transfer that's coming soon?
M:  That's great Kylie. You're gonna have such a great time! Enjoy yourself and try to not think about anything stressful!
M:  Another HSG Ashley! No! I'm sorry! I hope this stuff helps and you get your BFP!
Ni
Posted at Feb 16, 2017
Gonna skip the Bible versus here...I am in the same boat, girl. I feel your pain. I'm 37 as well and my husband has a low count (too low for IVF and IUI, sadly) and my doctor thinks I might have diminished ovarian reserve...sigh. I dont really want to go the donor egg route since it might not even stick so starting to think about adoption as an option. Just know you are not alone! It hurts and I feel bitter...just going to have to go on...
Am:  Nicolette I sent a very good OB/GYN office for deminished ovarion reserve
Am:  https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/infertilityedu/causes/diminished-ovarian-reserve/treatment/?gclid=CMKd4_mYltICFU6CfgodalYOlg
M:  Thank you Nicolette. I totally hear you, I feel likes I'm such a bitter Betty these days. Good luck on your journey and keep me posted.
Ca
Posted at Jan 19, 2017
Don't lose hope. Have you ever looked up the field of reproductive immunology? If you can, I suggest you pick up a copy of "is your body baby friendly" by Dr. Alan Beer.
We started trying when I was 36. I'm now 41, and my egg quality has dwindled. I sought out an RE who does immune testing and it turns out I have a number of immune issues which we are treating before we do a FET with donor eggs.
If I'd only known then what I know now . I wish you all the best!
M:  Thanks Carla. If this next one doesn't work, I'm going to look into immunology and some other things. Good luck!
Ka
Posted at Jan 19, 2017
What is with "unexplained" infertility?!?!? It's bugs me so much. We are about to start our journey of IVF. We've been TTC for 2 years 8 months now. Been poked and prodded so many times now, but they just can't explain it. My body was all over the place in the beginning, but now, according to the specialist, there is nothing wrong with me. 
Starting IVF March. All I can say is, as sucky as it all is, I do believe it will happen for everyone in their time. I hate it when people will say that, but I've got to hold onto some hope. Monday I sat and sobbed all evening, I really hit a low. But it's good to allow yourself that time to grieve and cry and feel down. I've now picked myself back up, and although I'm don't feel "happy" I'm moving forward again.
I really hope it works for you soon. I'm so nervous to start IVF. Baby dust to you ✨🌟✨
Me:  It tells you how much of your SO's DNA is unravelling. A number higher than 25 or 30 percent is rough. We are at 55 percent here.
Ju:  Melanie, what is DNA frag test?
M:  Thanks Katie! And yes unexplained sucks. Don't be too nervous about IVF, even though it's difficult it is nice to feel like you are finally taking control. Good luck!
Pa
Posted at Jan 19, 2017
Another lady on here posted several bible verses that helped get me through a low point.  Here are a couple.
Psalms 113:9 and John 20:29
If it's any consolation we are all on different journeys. Some people get pregnant their first attempt others take years and for some it never happens. My husband had a vesctomy over a decade ago so we have to do IVF. I've done 3 FET cycles, 2 ended in chemical pregnancies and 1 never took. We did PGS testing and so many tests I'm surprised I have blood left. They all said I'm a healthy normal 30 year old. I fall into a 1% category. I will not lose hope because I have God by my side. Keep the faith and pray! If God wants any of us to be a mom he will make it happen. 🙏🏼
M:  Thanks Paula! Hope it works out for all of us!
Am
Posted at Feb 13, 2017
Don't lose hope . Look into taking Geritol the vitamins and the liquid once a day . Drink more water , excercise and also eat yams everyday. 
M:  Thanks Amanda. I've actually already done an HSG. Everything looked normal. As for vitamins and water, I do that, but I've actually cut back on exercise, I'm pretty thin and my acupuncturist thought I was doing too much.
Am
Posted at Feb 13, 2017
Also you have to pay for it but HSG imaging looks to see if your tubes are open because that plays a major roll in becoming pregnant
Am
Posted at Feb 13, 2017
http://www.clearpassage.com/what-we-treat/infertility/blocked-fallopian-tubes/
Sa
Posted at Feb 14, 2017
Hey M... We've been chatting on another one of my posts, and I just saw this. I just wanted to say, we haven't even started the IVF process yet-- we're still in the signing the paper work and debating about the added cost of PGS every single night phase-- but I feel you. I already feel scared and hopeless. What if it doesn't work? What if we spend all our savings and we still don't have a baby? All of the "what ifs" are plaguing me, but I don't think it's helpful. I think these feelings are valid and worth acknowledging, but I think we both need to find a way to put them out of mind. IVF is very successful for many people-- we can be one of those people! I'm wishing you all the best! 
M:  I'm just at the beginning of another FET cycle. Please keep me updated on your journey. It's just really nice to have people to connect to and give us some positivity when we need it.
M:  Thank you for your comment Sarah. It's been so helpful to to talk to people on here and get so much support. I totally agree with you. We both need to think positive and believe that this will happen for us. Put good vibes out there and get something good in return.
Sa:  Who are you referring to? I don't think either one of us has divulged enough information for you to come to that conclusion!
Na
Posted at Feb 11, 2017
Our first FET just failed too. So frustrating but trying to stay positive and move fwd! 
Na:  You too! I hope so!! I will, please do the same!
M:  Good luck! Hopefully you will have success next time! 🤞🏽 keep me posted!
Na:  I'm just waiting for my cycle to start and then start meds too if everything goes well.

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