Tired of myself...

I lost my husband by an accident few years ago. When I lost him, I lost my apartment, and some of my friends betrayed me. I immigrated for the marriage, so my other family was back in my country. I was completely alone. Since then I always have fear of loosing love ones and becoming alone.

Now I have SO and a beautiful baby with him. I'm really happy with my life now. But again, when I think of the future, maybe 5 years, 10 years or more, I can only imagine me loosing everything and being lonely and alone.

Since my late husband's death, I've got medical attention, treated depression, and tried counselling. But the fear is always there and bothers me a lot. I sometimes feel like leave everything behind and become alone before it comes unexpectedly.

I know it never be good for the baby to have mother like this, and also I should look forward to the future and baby's growth. But i don't know how to get rid of this thought.