I am in a mixed relationship with my husband. We have been together for 9 years and married for 4. My husband and his family are white. My mother in law is tolerable. She just nags like any normal mother but his brothers are atrocious. They are so rude and racist and mean. The oldest brother is always commenting on my hair or what they don't like about me. He even called my little brother (13yr old) the "N" word! I cannot stand to see these people on holidays and birthdays anymore. And now that I am pregnant with our first child (a daughter) I am stressed out that they will attack her too (obviously she will be mixed) I love my husband fiercely and he is not like his brothers at all. The problem is that they wait to say hurtful things when my husband is not in the room so when I tell him about it later he gets upset. He tells me to stop trying to draw a wedge between him and his brothers. I know the shit they say to me is draw dropping so I can understand why he might think that I would make it up but I am not! I try to be polite to these toxic people because I was not raised to treat people that way. But after almost a decade of their abuse I am getting to my breaking point. I have dreams about setting their house on fire or slashing their tires (I feel ashamed of these thoughts) but I know things are going to come to a head after my daughter is born because all of the brothers frequently smack each other's children ( really bizarre) and I know if one of them touches my baby girl I will probably pepper spray them or use my tazer. (All these built up emotions over the years) does anybody please have any advice for me? I am a decent person but a human can only take so much.

Thank you