I'm dating a single father. We've been together for almost 2 years. Before dating him my older sister and almost all my friends warned me about dating him due to him having a child. They said it would be a lot of drama and pain but me being naive said that's not fair. Single fathers should still have a chance in life and ignored them. However I cry a lot, it's painful, it's hurtful, it's fraustrating, and it's a lot for me to handle. I promised myself that if him and I don't work out I would never again date a man with a child. I am not trying to discriminate against single fathers but trying it this time I know it would kill me to take more of it again and I wouldn't be happy.

There's a lot going on. His ex. His custody battle that he hasn't started. He converted to my religion but hasn't even studied anything on it. Saving. Pretty much everything a grown man should be doing especially when they have a child. All I hear are promises to do things but nothing has been done. We've talked about getting married but I'm positive that'll take years and I'm in no rush especially that as time passes I notice new characters of his that I'm not sure I like or want in a partner. I love him but I am having a conflict deep within about being with him. When I'm angry at him and the things he says I'm tempted to go talk to my idea of a "real man". Is this wrong? I haven't done it but is thinking it bad? I sometimes think being single is so much better than being in a relationship.

I understand that things take time but how long am I supposed to wait? In his case I feel like forever because he can't even follow the simple promises and deadlines that he makes so I'm not optimistic that he'd try to meet any deadline.

Should I ask him to take a break until he fidgures things out on his end? I'm just tired of being annoyed and hurt about it. I lie to my friends when they ask about us and say that he's doing a great job because I don't want him to seem like a loser. But all of that is getting to me.

Please don't give me advice like "leave him" I've seen those a lot and I don't want that. I want an explanation as to why you would give me any advice. For example: leave him because a man that follow a simple deadline is definitely not going to be a man that committs to a serious relationship.

Thank you.

Jessie and iise- I actually offered to help and always do. I did all the research, called lawyers and asked questions, found him a pro bono lawyer, read the contract he borrowed from a coworker and made changes to it to fit his situation. I pretty much walked him through the entire process of what he needs to do bc I am in school for criminal justice and have worked in courts for a little so I understand how the system works. It would have taken him longer to know all of this information had he not had me. But he still doesn't move towards the plans he makes. He keeps saying when he's ready or when things r "in place". To file a custody case those take years to finish so I recommended he files it now. He said he'd rather do t in February so that his income can seem lower bc his bonus checks won't hit. Supposedly he doesn't want his ex to get any child support from him that's why (he pays for almost everything for his child and his ex pays nothing). For child support they pull ur last 3 months pay stubs and all but it's not as soon as you file they ask for that. It takes time and I'm tired of him stalling and believing that his ways work when clearly it's been shown that they do not.

cramps

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