My boyfriend and I months ago started to experimenting with each other. I'm 18 and he is 20. He fingered me and I regret allowing him. It was a terrible experience for the most part and we truly do love each other so we decided to stop. We've had long talks about how it made me feel and I didn't want to do it anymore because we as a couple were not ready. He understood and promised that we would wait and talk about it at a far later time possibly after marriage (considering by that time we want to have a home). We did all that we did in the backseat of a car, it ruined a beautiful thing and I expressed that with great importance to him and he seemed to understand. But recently he was over at my place and in the heat of the moment asked if he could "eat me out".  I wanted to please him and say yes but I told him no but in reality, him asking me really hurt my feelings but also it's something that of course I would want. I'm just a little undecided how to feel right now and if it's okay to let go and give each other what we both want.