Pain meds...needing help...not judgement plz!!!

I am currently about 15 weeks pregnant and prior to getting pregnant I've been on pain medicine called hydrocodone for five years since a really bad car wreck...about a year ago I lost my insurance and has been getting them from a friend although the hydrocodone doesn't hurt the baby and all. They are not prescribed to me anymore but my body is dependent on them and I get very very sick without them and that can lead to miscarriage and other bad stuff I feel trapped and in the state I live in doctors and reporters are mandated reporters to DFS so I feel like I can't even talk to my doctor or I might lose my children please help me and please no hateful or judgemental comments