hair troubles

i have very odd hair, i grew up with baby fine hair, and over the years it got thicker, but it's always had the characteristics of a sponge, as in once i put something in my hair it absorbs it and clings to it, like color, conditioner, and oils. it's a blessing and a curse honestly. i see a lot of diy "fix brittle hair" posts that involve coconut oil, and i had a crisis once where i put coconut oil all over my head (yes stupid i know) and it took a week and dish soap to get it all out. needless to say my hair hated me then. i was just wondering if any of y'all had any tips for me with how to work with coconut oil so it helps not hurt my hair? i'm including pics of my hair so y'all can get an idea of how it is