My mom kicked me and my dad out when I was two. Said she was too young at 22 to be a wife n mom of 2 kids (she also had my older sister from another man) she wanted to party n didn't want to be tied down, so out me n my dad went, but she kept my sister. Since then she's been in n out of my life. As I got older I kind of just blocked it out like whatever u can't pick ur family n I got my dad n we're doing ok. That was my attitude until I had my daughter then the ppd started settling in. N once she got to be 2 it hit me hard so hard I didn't recognize myself anymore. Every smile, every laugh, every "mommy I love you" how as a mother do u turn ur back on that? I have such an overwhelming love for my daughter. I get anxiety just leaving her to go to work. I can't understand how any mother can look at that unconditionally loving 2 yr old face n not want her around every second. Doesn't matter what u look like, how much u weigh, how much money u make, that two year old thinks the world of u. I don't think I can get out of this ppd cuz I can't wrap my head around why she didn't want me, but she wanted my sister. N how she could know me for two yrs n turn her back on me like I was nothing. N I've tried talking to her about my feelings, tried taking her to counseling with me, but she somehow turns it around to make me feel guilty for putting her in that position like it's my fault she kicked me out. I don't think I'll ever get the answers I need to feel better. Idk what to do cuz I can't keep feeling like this, crying every day.