Why can't I accept love ? I'm currently drunk (a horrible outlet I know ) but I feel as though no one understands me? I feel like I have valid reasons to be upset all the time ? I feel as though I have no friends and my husband just tolerates me ? My depression and anxiety gets the best of me . I have flash backs of my abusive boyfriend before my husband. I don't deserve my husband . I'm an ex drug addict. I want to do drugs and it makes me feel guilty. I feel confident but disgusting at the same time. This post makes no sense and I'm sorry. I don't know how to use my words correctly when it comes to myself, but I'm more than willing to pass judgement on the next person. What is wrong with me.